The Old Gits, sometimes
known as The Elderly Brothers or Geriatric and The Pacemakers, and more recently, The Pair of Mushrooms, or Two Fun Guys!
turned up in Holmfirth for a few drinks.
The first pub to be visited was The Elephant and Castle for some very acceptable Tetley Bitter. A short
walk took us to The Rose and Crown, better known as The Nook, where we imbibed on a beer from Barnsley’s Acorn Brewery.
Leaving ‘The Nook’, we climbed the steps in the corner up to a wine bar, (whose name I can’t
pronounce) which sells real beer. Our choice was Blonde Witch from Moorhouses, which unfortunately was not available so we
settled for Lamb’s Milk from The Church End Brewery.
WE popped into The White Hart but popped out again as there was no real ale on sale, so went to the inn
on the bridge and enjoyed Golden Pippin from Copper Dragon, before returning to The Head of Steam in Huddersfield to sample
Spikes On T’Rim from Anglo-Dutch Brewer.
I was talking to a girl in my local, and she told me that she had been on a date with someone who had a
reputation of being the meanest person in the world. “So where did you take him”, I asked. “We went out
for tea and biscuits”, she answered, “and it was nice”, she continued, “and do you know, I’d
never given blood before.”
Anyhow I have just had some good news. A friend of mine was devastated when he lost his job as a street
cleaner in Venice, but now he’s got a similar position with Accrington council and he’s picking up again.
To the correspondent who sent an e-mail to Innspeak I would like to say, my intention was to state that
there are three pubs in Southowram not Brighouse. To be fair, in the Brighouse town centre loop, there are only three pubs
– The Richard Ostler, The Old Ship and The Black Bull. There were four until recently The George shut up shop.
Of course there are many other pubs in Brighouse, but it is a sad reflection when one looks at smaller
towns in Calderdale such as Sowerby Bridge or Hebden Bridge, where the town centres host several pubs.
Walking into town the other day I came across a young lad of about eight years old, who was crying
his eyes out. “What’s the matter?” I asked, “ what can be so bad?” He looked up with tears in
his eyes and said. “ I can’t do what the big boys do.” I thought about this for a few seconds, then I sat
down and cried with him.
Sir Walter Raleigh(did he invent the bicycle?) sailed around the world, and on his return introduced various
things to these shores. In fact, in an audience with Queen Elizabeth the First, she asked what he had brought for her. “Try
this your majesty,” he said, “put it between your lips and I will light it with my tinderbox.” “Oh”,
she cried, “that is horrible, what is it?” “It’s a potato,” he replied.
